Whatta Night - Ricky J

De l'information à l'opportunité

Le Polarisant - mars 2010

http://www.clubphotopolarise.org/polarisant/2010-03.pdf

Intensity

Pronunciation: \in-ˈten(t)-sə-tē\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural in·ten·si·ties

The quality or state of being intense; especially : extreme degree of strength, force, energy, or feeling, intenseness; extreme degree; as, intensity of heat, cold, mental application, passion, etc.

The magnitude of a quantity (as force or energy) per unit (as of area, charge, mass, or time)

The amount or degree of energy with which a force operates or a cause acts; effectiveness, as estimated by results produced.

The magnitude of a distributed force, as pressure, stress, weight, etc., per unit of surface, or of volume, as the case may be; as, the measure of the intensity of a total stress of forty pounds which is distributed uniformly over a surface of four square inches area is ten pounds per square inch.

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.
- Thomas Merton

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Marjorie!

The 2 wolfs' Story

One of the challenges associated with reading and writing about personal growth, healing and wholeness, is that one person's blessing is another person's curse. One person may need more and another person needs less of the same thing. Some need to pickup their pace others need to slow down. Some people need to be more assertive, others need to control their aggression. Some need to take more risks, while others need to think more before they leap.

We tend to miss the message we need to hear. It is as if we wear glasses with filtering lenses. Those who would most benefit from seeing some green, wear glasses that filter out green. Those who would benefit from seeing red, have lenses that let only green shine through. Consciously changing lenses opens new personal perspectives. It can help us discover the undernourished places in our lives. Seeing what we do not wish to see and hearing what we do not wish to hear, is often the only way to move forward in our journey to healing and wholeness. In other words, we choose to be aware instead of avoid. We choose our destiny over our denial. We feed the hungry parts of our spirit, rather than the overfed.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?The-One-You-Feed&id=342145

Sick of it

Got it out.

Nat in Wonderland

Écrire

"Écrire, c'est finalement lire à l'intérieur de soi-même"
- Lise Carreau

That Day

That day I was in love.
In love with what?
In love with who?
With him or with the man I wanted him to be?

Did I just dream all of it?
Imagined my own story on a blank canvass?
Maybe...
Maybe not...
Guilt of having hope
Of wishing love
Of sharing something different
A connexion
A complicity
A deeper understanding
Of two human being, with flaws...
I liked him.
Time will tell I guess

Thank you anyway
I learned some good stuff
Good night

An image

Nice words

Divine source of all love and knowledge,
thank you for your protection
and guidance

I place all my trust in you
and ask that you continue to lead me
along my soul’s true path.

I give thanks for the lessons I am learning,
and asked that I be shown how to help others
through the realm of true
unconditional love.

May we, as a Universe always be blessed
with love, light, health and happiness.

The Healing Handbook (A spiritual guide to healing yourself and others)
By Tara Ward

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

All The Right Moves - OneRepublic

Sending love

Hallelujah - Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris

A Note from the Universe

When something difficult or painful happens, always look to see what it makes possible that wouldn't have otherwise been possible. Like a new adventure, a closer friendship, or chocolate in your peanut butter.

Everything makes you better,

The Universe

P.S. Clever of me, huh?
www.tut.com

An image

Someday - Rob Thomas

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry
[Chorus:]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday
Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be someone
[Chorus]
And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow
Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday[x2]
Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5

Men 101

I need a course to understand men.

Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon

Marjorie!

Poets - The Tragically Hip

Locked in the trunk of a car - The Tragically Hip

The World

Integration
Accomplishment
Involvement
Fulfillement

A Note from the Universe

What if, the coolest person on the planet didn't know they were the coolest person on the planet? Just because of a few self doubts, a few trace fears, or the occasional twang of inadequacy. Or because they somehow thought fame, or wealth, or popularity mattered. Or because they just didn't know the effect they had on others.It would be a pity, huh? An absolute travesty. And of course, telling them wouldn't achieve much because they'd never believe you. Never. They'd be too modest to accept it. Too naïve to believe it. And too cool to think it mattered.

So... well... ah... let's just leave it at that -

The Universe

PS. Please, think as highly of yourself as you possibly can. Because no matter how high that is you will still undershoot the truth... it's just a time-space thing. http://www.tut.com/

Meditation

Inspiration

Expiration

Respiration

My eyes toward the center

Grounded feet

Centering

Heavy feet

Relaxation

Inspiration

Expiration

Growing a ball of light in my stomach

Relaxation

Inspiration

Expiration

Sending love and heat to the knots in my stomach

Bright light

Inspiration

Expiration

Heavy eyes

Heavy arms

Heavy legs

Bigger light in my stomach

Feeling the warmth

I am loved

I love

Inspiration

Expiration

Cleaning my thoughts

I find inner peace

Feeling the wind

Suddle smiling lips

Inspiration

Expiration

Finding a serene space in my head

Staying there

Light body

Light in and out the body

I am loved

I love

This world is safe

This world is secure

Inspiration

Expiration

I am loved

I love

An innovative way of seeing the Karpman Triangle

Upgrading Our Personal OPerating System
Introducing: The Power of TED (The Empowerment Dynamic)
By David Emerald

Victim → CREATOR: This is the central role in The Empowerment Dynamic. A Creator claims and taps into his or her personal power in order to choose his or her response to life circumstances. While a Victim succumbs to their sense of powerlessness, a Creator acts from the knowledge that they are “at choice,” even when faced with the inevitable problems that come with the human experience. This role is also results-oriented and focused on desired outcomes. Creators work consciously and deliberately to deal with their current reality while moving toward the life they envision creating.

Persecutor → CHALLENGER: Creators are able to transform their perspective toward difficulties with people, conditions and/or circumstances into challenges to be met, understood, and (whenever possible) overcome. Unlike the Victim, who sees every challenge as a Persecutor, Creators encounter Challengers as teachers, for they provoke or evoke actions that lead to meaningful growth. Some Challengers are conscious, constructive and compassionate, while others may be more confrontational. In either case, a Challenger calls forth a Creator’s will to create, often spurring him or her to learn new skills, make difficult decisions, and to take action toward a dream or desire.

Rescuer → COACH: A Coach supports, assists, and facilitates a Creator in clarifying and manifesting the Creator’s desired outcome. Unlike a Rescuer, who reinforces the powerlessness of a Victim, a Coach acknowledges and helps leverage the power and capabilities of a Creator. They help others perceive new possibilities and clarify outcomes. A Coach also helps a Creator accurately and honestly discern and assess current reality, to identify resources and create solutions. They then hold the Creator accountable for taking the steps necessary to move forward.

http://www.powerofted.com/

The Karpman Triangle

"Do you want to be honest, or do you want to win? You could have it all if you could gracefully give in Like when a martyr knows he's a martyr And looking in the mirror makes you cry harder 'bout your glittering ball and chainIn love, In love with yourBeautiful painExcuses and old theories repeat themselves and die But when they don't hold waterYou try to keep them safe and dry"- lyrics from the song Beautiful Pain by Rosanne Cash

The Purpose of The Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor Game

1. Keeps responsibility out there.
2. There is a lack of internal conflict within the individual. It's all created in others.
3. Players lack empathy, are very self absorbed in their own role of the moment.
4. Patterns of the game prevent problem solving — the drama rules.
5. Maintains bad boundaries.
6. The game provides identity and fills emptiness, because two people can jump around in all three roles to fuel the drama.

Good guy/Bad guy split thinking leads to drama. Drama obscures the real issues. People are seduced by the false excitement the drama offers — all style, no substance. Manipulation is the core of the game. It creates confusion and upset, not solutions.

Playing Victim, Rescuer has become a powerful cultural pastime. It is at the core of all the repetitious plots of soap operas. This game could be used to describe Bill, Hillary, Monica, and Ken.

Here's how it works: Let’s suppose Bill was emotionally dependent on Hillary to feel good about himself. Perhaps Hillary was persecuting him through emotional distance because she lost the national health care bill and was licking her wounds after the Arkansas State Troopers reported Bill’s philandering.

Monica enters the White House, ripe for the role of Rescuer to Victim Bill. The beauty of the game is that roles can be switched to enhance the drama.

For example, Bill could rescue Monica by finding her attractive, while Monica feels like a victim because she’s a chubby girl no one would ever love. Enter Ken Starr to play Persecutor in his own over-the-top style.

Another example could be O.J. He was accused of being the Persecutor and Nicole was the Victim. One way to look at what O.J.’s attorneys did is that they flipped him from the Persecutor role to the Victim role. Then the Jury stepped in to play the rescuer.

This game is what operates in many relationships. It is all style and no substance. It has become a lifestyle for too many people. The game provides people with their identity as Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor. People generally favor one or two roles.

Most of us in the helping professions (nurses, teachers, counselors) all begin with favoring the Rescuer role. (So be sure to choose a therapist who’s been a client and seriously worked on issues in their own backyard. This means they’ll more clearly see who you really are instead of projecting their own issues onto you.) Rescuers get caught up in enabling. They see themselves as good and have to learn to back up. Doing too much for someone else is rationalized because "I care so much." Rescuers are often unaware that pity and disrespect are the fuel for this role. "I know what's best for you." is illustrated in the mother's role in the movie 'The Deep End'. The reality is that backing up from the rescuer role means learning that indifference can be a useful tool. Wait and see if the person you’re trying to rescue steps forward for themselves or how they do it differently.

Victims can be manipulative, particularly if they are operating on a "love me no matter what" basis. Being loved no matter what is not something two honest adults should expect from each other. After the age of 18, love me no matter what should be hard to come by. Victims are trying to remain blameless. Remember an unhappy relationship is always created by two people. Blame may be distributed 60/40 or 70/30, however it always takes two. The more blaming and finger pointing someone does, the more fragile the point of view. Noise simply creates smoke and mirrors, and it is less likely that an honest reality is being addressed. Elegant truth is generally never “I am good/You are bad,” it is usually a more complicated frame of reference. “I did this part and you did this part” etc. Finding the bravery to look at your own part in creating problems can change and transform your life. If you've been loving the victim role over many years it is time to face the truth - it is a boring way of life. One key to interupting this pattern would be to relocate your imagination, to find other ways of conducting your life.

Persecutors love the power of moving people around on the chess board of life. Brad Pitt in Fight Club is an extreme example of this. Everything is win or lose, with very little ability to be a part of a team. There is a desperate need to be right at all costs and you can end up doubting yourself even about the facts of what happens.

Playing in this drama triangle ultimately leads to a very boring life. Over and over again the game is repeated, and there are never any solutions. Nobody grows as all the players are very stuck in the cycle of repeating their tired lines, all for drama.


Specific Guidelines for Playing VRP Roles VS. How to be a Grown Up

Creating drama and chaos vs. Solving problems

Dodging, deflecting, and blaming others vs. Taking on responsibilities

Denial/pretending vs. Honestly facing painful situations

Making excuses and instigating bad boundaries vs. Maintaining boundaries to have true respect for others

Ignoring damage that has been done and pretending it has nothing to do with you vs. Making amends and recognizing consequences

Maintaining your illusions at all costs vs. Having the courage to become more self aware

Giving yourself too much respect (narcissists) or too little respect (martyrs) vs. Balancing both respect for others and yourself

Letting drama rule vs. Letting integrity/character rule

“I know what’s best for both of us” vs. No one has a market on truth-it always lies in between people

Creating doubt in the other person vs. Seeing what hard truths the other person may have to teach you

Assuming others are there to be an audience vs. Realizing what happens between people is unknown, not orchestrated

Thinking in simple terms of Right/Wrong, Good/Bad vs. Recognizing complexity

Manipulating others, which is a shell game that ends up hollow vs. Using your heart and head together to be more emotionally honest with others

Trying to have it both ways vs. Facing sacrifice

Taking the easy way vs. Knowing the right thing to do is the hard thing to do

Monologue vs. Dialogue

Short-term thinking vs. Long-term thinking

Manipulating/Controlling vs. Negotiating

Honesty: Say what you mean, mean what you say. There is greater soul in honestly facing painful situations. Look fearlessly within. The people you love the most are the ones to risk more honesty with.

Respect for Self & Others: Balance both. Take Responsibility. Learn boundaries. Have empathy and self-protection. Do not be either too self effacing or too narcissistic.

Make Agreements That Work: Negotiation/middle ground leads to possibilities. More able to handle complexity. There has to be room for both people's wants and agendas. Solve problems together. http://www.therapyideas.net/triangles.htm

Life!

I miss you silly

Miscommunication?